Something I find interesting, as we head into the "holiday" season, is how society in general tends to view Valentine's Day as some sort of manufactured obligation. All through January and early February, you just hear constantly about how the things meant to be expressed on February 14th, should be expressed freely any other day of the year.
And yes, despite the fact that Valentine's Day is and always has been my second favorite holiday, it's a valid point. No calendar date should dictate when we show love and appreciation to anyone in our lives. It should just simply be done.
Something I've come to notice, though, probably heavily due to working in retail as long as I have, is that, despite their insistence on celebrating, people treat the holidays like some sort of awful obligation. This time of year brings out the worst in people rather than the best. And it just leaves me wondering, why do it, then?
I do understand the importance of tradition, to an extent. A big reason I'm so indifferent toward non-Halloween holidays as an adult is that my beloved traditions fell apart and it just makes me sad to remember them and what once was. However, when it gets to the point that tradition just feels like a miserable chore, perhaps it's time to just take a step back and ask ourselves, Why am I doing this? What am I really getting out of it?
Every single thing you can do on Thanksgiving or Christmas, you can do on any other day of the year. (Halloween is truly the only day where the main traditions, such as trick-or-treating and certain other events, actually can't be done on, say, a random Tuesday night in June.) How is forcing oneself to celebrate these holidays, any different than what is done on Valentine's Day, that seems to be so frowned upon by society? Sure, not everyone has a significant other. But not everyone has family they feel safe with, either, or a way to get to their family. Or money to spend on gifts or elaborate meals. Valentine's Day is often called "Single Awareness Day" by the people who don't enjoy it, but for some, the holidays in general are a time when we're reminded of loneliness, or stressed to our absolute limits. How is it, at the end of the day, really any different?
I just simply don't believe there's any real point in doing something out of obligation, if it's not making you happy. That's why I, ultimately, gave it up, and chose to focus my energy on the holiday that does make me happy and brings joy and meaning to my life. Sure, I get sad sometimes that Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter isn't the same as it was when I enjoyed it more. But the hard truth of it is, those days are gone, and trying to force myself to enjoy it now is pointless and was only making me more miserable in the long run. I don't have to feel a certain way because of a calendar date, just as I don't have to stop feeling a certain way because of one.
It may sound silly to say, but sometimes I truly believe I've found the secret to life, and it's very simply, Do what makes you happy and don't let anyone or anything control you.
Maybe it took me awhile to realize it, but a calendar is not some all-powerful being that can strike you down for disagreeing with it. Any day can be anything you want it to be...and no day has to be what you don't desire it to be, either. There's no point to living a calendar-driven life, if that's not where your heart is. It's unhealthy to let anything dictate your life.
Stay spooky, my friends.
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