Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

 So, you may or may not have noticed that my weekly tradition of reviewing American Horror Story episodes ended rather abruptly after the conclusion of Red Tide. If you’re wondering why, well...I just simply didn’t enjoy Death Valley enough to want to put my head back into each episode week after week. There are so many other things that need my time and creative energy in October, that spending significant amounts of time each week talking about something that I truly had no real interest in just sounded like a recipe for misery.  But, now that the storyline is over (Or is it? Hard to tell with a nonending but we’ll get to that later.) I would like to take a moment to express my thoughts. I am really not much of an alien fan. My father was always the sci-fi fanatic, not me, and perhaps years and years of it being background noise in my childhood home burnt me out on it. I don’t know. I went through that phase in the 90s like most other kids around my age at the time, when it ...

I’m going to start off this review by saying, I just returned from a trip to London and I’m jet-lagged, exhausted, and pressed for time, but I really want to get this review done. I also can’t seem to find any decent pictures that go along with points I want to discuss, so this review will likely be just me rambling. Hopefully it’s enjoyable. I apologize in advance for the lack of Lyme disease references but Doris is apparently camera shy these days. Our episode starts off with some fishermen discovering the body of our dearly departed Chief Burleson, having been dumped in the water after she was sucked dry by Alma. This prompts an investigation from another officer, who goes to a town council meeting and can instantly tell she’s being lied to. Dear Holden Vaughn is on the council (His role in all this has beyond confusing...Is he a realtor? An interior designer? Is he on the pill? Is he a politician? But I can’t help but be happy whenever he’s on-screen.) and he does some of his signa...

 We’re only one episode away from the finale of the Red Tide portion of AHS Double Feature and shit is getting real. Not that it’s really had many slow points thus far, but still. A lot happens in this one episode. We open with Doris finally giving birth to her baby (I know it’s only been five episodes but I feel like she’s been pregnant forever.) and it takes her forever and a day to pick a name for him, so in my mind he instantly becomes little LD Gardner, short for Lyme Disease, of course. Harry is doing his fatherly duties in the delivery room and if course, all of the blood is just too much for him to handle, so he ends up drinking the placenta blood from the linens left in the garbage can. Definitely one of the more disgusting things I’ve ever seen on this show.  Anyway, the Gardners get home and Doris is being her annoying self, with Alma still wondering why her mother even needs to be a thing anymore. One night, Doris wakes up to see Alma drinking from little LD’s leg,...

 Time for another AHS review and recap! (I promise I’ll write about something else again one of these days, it’s just hard to find the time and energy for original writing at this point in time and the reviews are honestly saving my soul.)  I’m going to be just like the episode and get right into it. And by “it”, I mean referencing Lyme disease. We pick up basically right where we left off last week, with Doris rushing Alma into the house after finding her feasting on rabbit blood in the cemetery, and Doris is immediately blaming it on Lyme disease. That’s right, boils and ghouls, we don’t even get a full minute into the episode without Doris Gardner blaming Lyme disease for every problem in Provincetown, and possibly the world. Luckily, Chief Burleson shows up and wants to take Alma downtown to ask a few questions, and Doris promptly has a fainting spell. Harry gets the Chief to leave them alone, claiming the stress is getting to Doris and completely ignoring the fact that Do...

 Now that the very interesting, different, often confusing season of American Horror Stories has come to an end, it’s time for this year’s actual AHS season, Double Feature, to take the floor.  I will admit, after finding about half of the episodes of “Stories” to be subpar, I was very worried about what the actual season would look like. Between the rushed changes that seemed to have to be made because of the pandemic, and the ambitious concept of a two-in-one season (Freaky formatting is never the AHS universe’s friend as far as I’m concerned.),  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting the worst, or at the very least, the painfully mediocre. I am happy to report, though, that I was pleasantly surprised, and found the first two episodes of this season to be a true return to form for my favorite show.  The first story we’ll be experiencing this season is called Red Tide. It is set in the very eerie, mysterious seaside town of Provincetown, Massachusetts, at the ver...