Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

 I know, it's been ages  since I've reviewed anything relating to American Horror Story. Hopefully someone out there missed it? I can't promise how frequent these reviews will be, as it's probably pretty evident that finding the time to watch the episodes and really contemplate them has been challenging for me over the past couple of years. While I don't think it would possible for me to ever truly stop loving AHS, its recent offerings, save for NYC, have left me feeling pretty "meh" about it. I've seen one episode of Delicate, and while it certainly wasn't bad, the subject matter doesn't really interest me at all and much like the vast majority of the fandom, the casting choices didn't exactly thrill me. I'll get back to it eventually, but I may wait until the entire season is out and just share my thoughts after the fact. American Horror Stories also has a habit of leaving me with a "meh" taste in my mouth. Save for a few st...

Some of you may have noticed (I'm actually certain that a few people did) that I didn't write my usual episode-by-episode reviews of American Horror Story once the Stories season ended and NYC began.  This past season, for the first time ever, I had no real desire to watch it. I absolutely loathed the Death Valley portion of Double Feature . I will never, ever watch that again unless I, for some reason, need to get myself into a very bad mood. Seeing something like that put out into the world of AHS almost made me want to stop watching entirely...I don't even know if I would have done the Stories season had it not been for Denis O'Hare's involvement in the first episode and the promise of the revival of one of his previous characters.  But I did, and it was perfectly fine for what it was, much better than most of the first season. However, when NYC premiered, all I kept hearing about was how it didn't feel like AHS, and it honestly sounded far too reality-based ...

 I've always enjoyed tales of horror by the lake. Perhaps it's because I grew up near a lake community and found the history of it very interesting. Or maybe it's because sea monsters and the like never get quite as much love as the average vampire, slasher, or ghost.  Regardless, I was excited about this episode. And it premiered on my birthday! (I didn't watch it on that day, as I was off adventuring in Sleepy Hollow and then Halloween shopping, but still. It meant something to me that something AHS-related was happening on my birthday, and this episode really didn't disappoint! Lake introduces us to brother and sister Jake and Finn, hanging out with a group of other teens at their family lake house. Jake is apparently heavy into the history of this lake and wants to go diving to check out if the rumors and damming and the like are true...and also to impress a girl his sister doesn't approve of.  Straight off, I was skeptical about the fact that there was a ch...

 I've been having a hard time even remembering I have to write this review, as this episode left me feeling all sorts of "meh". This is going to be a tough one for me to write about, as I can't even pinpoint exactly what about it didn't work for me, I just know that something about it seemed really off somehow. It was a really good concept, very ambitious and unafraid to "go there", but it just missed a mark for me somehow. It could have been better but I'm sure how to explain how. Anyway, Necro brings us the story of a young mortician named Sam, who really seems to love what she does. The episode opens with a flashback of a toddler Sam watching her mother get murdered, so I'm guessing the obsession with death comes from some unprocessed trauma. Because no one can just find it cool, you know? (I actually thought about trying to get into it at one point in my life, but the big reason I didn't is my ommetaphobia. I'd be like Billy Wilkins f...

I just want to preface this review by saying, this is my least favorite episode of the season so far. I didn’t necessarily dislike it, but it just didn’t bring anything at all special to the table for me, and I caught myself saying “Really?!”  out loud more times than I ever hope to during an episode of anything. This review may actually be fairly short, as I really don’t think there’s much depth to go into here, which is actually kind of ironic considering that it is a story centered upon being shallow. Facelift introduces us to a woman named Virginia Mellon, which, quite frankly, sounds like something you’d find in the local grocery store’s produce department, but I digress. Virginia does things like dab urine onto her face (which is gross but not Milkmaids- opening level gross) because she’s obsessed with staying young and beautiful, and all in all she reminds me quite a bit of Fiona Goode at the beginning of Coven, if Fiona had nothing else going for her. Virginia also lives wi...

 This episode of American Horror Stories is one I absolutely couldn't wait to see. So, naturally, it fell within with a week that real life (and also The Sandman premiere) got in the way and I only got around to watching it at a regrettable hour on Tuesday night. But this episode is one I've been hoping to see in the AHS universe for a long time.  If I had to think about what scared me the most in my childhood, Bloody Mary ranks very, very high on the list. I can remember almost the whole scene of hearing about her for the first time. It was art class, third grade. For some reason, some of the kids at my table started talking about ghost stories and scary encounters, and, since I really had no one to talk to, all I could do was listen.  Being an eight-year-old child who was afraid of just about everything at the time, a lot of the stories got to me. I remember one about a disappearing house, and another about a girl who swore she saw scissors hovering by her sister's neck...

 I’m going to start this review by saying, I think this may actually be my personal favorite episode of the Stories franchise so far. And believe me when I tell you, when I saw what the episode was about, I went into it with extremely low expectations.  Last season had a few episodes based more or less on technology-based horrors, and these episodes really weren’t my favorite. The concept got tired after the first few instances of “a video plays and people die”, and it just added to the overall atmosphere of “AHS for a teen audience”. So, when I saw the episode was all about a doorbell camera, I was skeptical. Just about the only thing that made me want to watch this episode was Gabourey Sidibe’s involvement. And I guess I ought to thank her, because this was a great ride! Aura opens up with a commercial for a security camera system/app named, you guessed it, Aura. I have to say, whoever wrote this portion really nailed that feeling of an overacted security system commercial. ...

I’m going to start off this review by saying, I just returned from a trip to London and I’m jet-lagged, exhausted, and pressed for time, but I really want to get this review done. I also can’t seem to find any decent pictures that go along with points I want to discuss, so this review will likely be just me rambling. Hopefully it’s enjoyable. I apologize in advance for the lack of Lyme disease references but Doris is apparently camera shy these days. Our episode starts off with some fishermen discovering the body of our dearly departed Chief Burleson, having been dumped in the water after she was sucked dry by Alma. This prompts an investigation from another officer, who goes to a town council meeting and can instantly tell she’s being lied to. Dear Holden Vaughn is on the council (His role in all this has beyond confusing...Is he a realtor? An interior designer? Is he on the pill? Is he a politician? But I can’t help but be happy whenever he’s on-screen.) and he does some of his signa...