Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

I don't usually care all that much about Christmas. Sure, I remember the feelings it evoked in childhood, but I made peace long ago with the fact that that can never be again. However, somehow, this year has been very hard. I'm not sure what it is. I suppose it's other factors in my life, things that have already been bringing me down, but I have found myself, this year, getting lost in the memories of my childhood Christmases. The excitement of waiting for Santa Claus, seeing certain relatives, anticipating certain gifts, and the reactions I'd get for gifts I chose myself for my loved ones...and it's not as easy to brush off.  I have said a few times this year, that all I want for Christmas is, well, my Christmas to come back. But it can't, for many reasons. The door has shut and locked on that part of my life, and sadly, there is no key. It's all long gone, never to be seen again except in memories.  This is the most depressed I can ever recall being at Ch...

As you can probably imagine, being a retail worker this time of year means I'm forced to listen to quite a bit of Christmas music against my will.  And my store is relentless with it. I've been to other stores where they at least get a mixture, a few traditional grocery store pop songs, then a few Christmas songs, and so on, but my job goes hard on nothing but Christmas from the time I clock in until the time I clock out. And a lot of the songs are the same, just with a different singer or maybe a slightly different style.  One song I hear pretty consecutively every year, is We Need A Little Christmas.  Aside from the fact that this song always makes me think of a special I had recorded from when the live action 101 Dalmatians film was coming out, I have, for many years, felt as if a Halloween version of this song would be my ultimate theme song. After all, it's all about feeling blue and needing the comfort of your favorite time of year, and the excitement that it brings...

  Maybe it's time for me to just come right out and say, "I hate Christmas." Do I hate Christmas, though? I don't really know. I know it hasn't been the same for me in many years now, and I know the glow of mechanical lights and the imagery of a mystical being who doesn't actually exist, don't make things go away, or get better.  This time of year makes people so angry and hostile, even those who claim to love it.  I'd rather just skip it. I think of how much happier people seem to be during Halloween, when nothing is forced. People celebrate because they want to; perhaps having the desire to be someone else, or escape their own reality for a little while. Pretend not to be so afraid. Whatever it is. It's total freedom.  I look around as Christmas gets closer and feel like everyone has forgotten. As if they'd rather be obligated than free. I look at the houses that used to seem so alive, ironic in the season of death, and see pumpkins lined up ...

  I've not cared much for December for many years now.  Adulthood came, and confiscated the magic of Christmas.  I guess I never really minded, as I've always felt I have something much more magical.  But still, I look around at the colorful lights and smiling characters adorning the lawns now, where the skeletons and pumpkins and ghosts stood not long ago at all, and I feel resentment. Society forgets that November is still, very much, autumn. The world forgets to hold space for the remaining pumpkins and scarecrows, anymore.  But I watch for them. I've learned to treat November like an extension of October. A funeral, of sorts. I celebrate the fact that it happened, and search for the remnants around me. This year, though, it hasn't been easy.  October, for the most part, felt like an extension of summer. Halloween came with a high of 83 degrees and blazing sun, as if October itself wanted to wear a costume that made it almost unrecognizable. It felt more...

Christmas lingers, like a stain that won't wash out. The party is over, yet all the evidence of it remains.  No one questions whether or not it happened. The signs of it are everywhere. The word is on everyone's tongues, the decorations remain, the music still blares. Three days later and it looks like it's still coming. The world is still so jovial. Christmas is not celebrated for a single day. It goes on, allowing each individual to decide when it is over. As if the universe itself is refusing to let it go. As I stare at the Christmas wonderland still built up around me on December 28th, I think only about Halloween. I think about how quickly Halloween disappears. How quickly it's packed up again come November 1st morning. As if people are embarrassed to admit that they enjoy it, that they even celebrate it in the first place. Christmas is treated like a prestigious trophy, while Halloween is treated like an undergarment left out on a clothesline. Get it away. Get it ...

 I went for a walk this afternoon. I suppose I may be somewhat known for my "Post-Halloween Depression Walks", during which I walk around the neighborhood, obviously after Halloween has passed, and basically search for signs of life. Decorations still on display, waiting for be noticed, accepted, in this world where they are suddenly no longer welcome after a short month of being revered. Today I found a few. Some I've admired since October began, still going strong. Some new ones that seem to have appeared on the night of Halloween, just visiting for a moment. But of course I also found empty spaces, voids where Halloween once stood.  And at one house, I saw an open storage shed, full of all of the decorations that had been on display, proudly lit, the last time I passed. I think, for some reason, this one hurt most of all. Perhaps, as a child, I took my holiday decorating and celebration cues from Christmas. Christmas, on some level, is celebrated for at least the entir...

 I feel like I've been doing a lot of talking about Christmas this year, and I swear it's really not me trying to be "salty" about it, as the kids say. (Do they still say that?) I've just been reflecting a lot this year and find that I have a lot of thoughts and feelings. Just yesterday, I got the bug to wrap the small amount of gifts I currently have on-hand, and for nostalgia's sake, decided to play a few songs from my childhood Christmas gift-wrapping soundtracks, A Rosie Christmas and Another Rosie Christmas.  After about four songs, I was over it. I stuck the gifts under the tree (which for the record was put up by my roommate, before anyone comes at me for lying about my indifference toward Christmas in order to seem spookier) and soon after retired to watch Trick 'r Treat.   There was a part of me, though, that felt sad I couldn't maintain that teeny burst of holiday spirit a little while longer. I started questioning why, and, along with my usu...

 Okay, so, today we’re going to be talking about Christmas.  No, I’m not about to make some grand seasonal switch as to what holiday I’m obsessed with. On the contrary, actually. Due to the constant invalidation of my feelings toward this time of year, and constant passive-aggressive statements eluding to me being some kind of “pick me girl” for staying so faithful to Halloween, I’ve decided I just want to straight-up talk about how Christmas changed for me, in detail, and why it makes me feel, or doesn’t make me feel, the way it does now. It will probably help to get this all off my chest, even if no one reads it. Though I do hope someone out there may find comfort in it in some way. I suppose you could say my descent into Grinchdom began the summer before I started middle school. Prior to this time, I was, more or less, the epitome of the “tiny tot with their eyes all aglow”, who “finds it hard to sleep” on Christmas Eve. No, Christmas was never my favorite holiday, but the ...

 It’s that time of year again. The time when Halloween “ends” to the layperson, and even some of the spookiest people take a two-month break to obsess over Christmas. It’s the damndest thing, how, as early as the stroke of midnight on November first in some cases, the world transforms, seemingly forgetting that Halloween ever happened, into a sugar-coated, red-and-green, fairy-lit wonderland, while some of the leaves haven’t even fallen from their trees yet. It’s like a switch flips, the opposite of a blackout, and about ninety-percent of the world gets brainwashed. I scroll through my social media feeds and wonder where my kindred spirits went. No, enjoying Christmas as well as Halloween does not make you any less of a spooky community member, but for some of us, it’s depressing to see. We gather to keep Halloween alive all year round, yet, if you were to scroll through my Instagram home page right now, you might get the impression that my favorite holiday is actually Christmas. T...

 As you probably already know, Christmas is not my thing. I did a  detailed post  about that last year, so I won’t bore anyone with repeating myself, but I would like to reiterate that one of my big reasons for not enjoying this time of year, is the fact that I have a retail job. And, having a retail job means hearing a lot of Christmas songs on repeat for at least a month. I tend to have a lot of goofy thoughts regarding these songs, such as the probability of a grown man listing “girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes” among his favorite things ending up on a list, or the fact that my all-time least favorite, It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, sounds incredibly sarcastic when you really listen to it. However, today I heard It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas, and found myself asking, “WTF do you mean, beginning?! It’s been looking a lot like Christmas since September!”   And so I was inspired to rewrite the song, to address the issues that we ...

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Some are happy about it, but others aren’t.  Such is life, with everything. There will always be people with opposing views, on just about any subject. But Christmas in the Halloween community tends to be a controversial one.  Are you a “poser” for enjoying and posting about Christmas, when you claim your favorite holiday is Halloween? Or are you a grinch for not caring to get into the spirit of a different holiday? The answer is, of course, no, to both. Everyone has the right to do, or not do, what makes them happy as an individual. There’s no ironclad rule that you can’t enjoy more than one holiday, and there’s no ironclad rule that you have to force yourself into the spirit of a holiday that doesn’t mean all that much to you.  But I’ve seen a fair amount of hate regarding this issue, on both sides, so I figured I’d talk about where I stand, and what I think. I am, personally, not a huge fan of Christmas. I wouldn’t say I hat...