October Eve//October 365th, 2024

I have probably spent a significant part of my adult life chasing the high of Christmas Eve in my childhood.

Though Halloween was always my favorite holiday, Christmas Eve felt like this otherworldly time, when the whole world sat on edge, waiting for something magical to happen. And once the morning came, everything would be as it had been the year before.

A homecoming.

I haven’t felt that way about Christmas in a very long time, but tonight I feel that excitement once more.

I see the pieces coming back together. The decorations I mourned last year reappearing, on neighbors’ lawns and doorsteps, in stores I visit. Pumpkins, real pumpkins, are alive and waiting once more, relevant again, no longer the rotting forms left over from a night no one seems to remember.

We are seen. The world looks like a place I recognize again, and I don’t have to squint so hard to see it.

I don’t look across the lake and imagine the green trees turning orange and red and yellow, because now they are. I don’t think about the ghosts that once welcomed visitors to the neighbor’s yard, because they are back again. I don’t stand in the cemetery and look longingly at the farm stand on the other side of the street and try to picture all of the pumpkins once for sale, because they have arrived again.

When I wake up tomorrow, the world will officially be as I dream for so long every year.

The things I love, the things that are part of me all year round, become acceptable again. People are having fun with the things that make me smile every day. I don’t have to imagine it. Don’t have to long for it. Don’t have to sit in silence, trying to hold onto when it was here.

Because it is here now.

I may not ever feel the same way about Christmas again, but I can tell you that the coming of October feels more amazing than anything Santa Claus might carry in the sack on his sleigh.

Happy October Eve.

We made it.

Comments

The Long Way Back//October 32nd, 2023

Every year I talk about November 1st...it's such a confusing day. It makes me feel so many emotions all at once. Mournful, depressed, angry...It's like a slap in the face shoving us into a new month, forcing us to forget what came just hours before. Last year, I did have somewhat of an epiphany regarding the month of November as a whole, and while I do my best to keep my own past words in mind, that doesn't make today any easier. Or easy to explain, for that matter. I suppose I should speak from my heart. Today I feel detached from reality, as if I don't really exist. Like there is no longer a place in the world for me. Just yesterday everything I loved made sense, and was loved and revered by everyone else as well. I felt like I fit. But now, today, I see those same things being quickly shoved away. Less than twenty-four hours after trick-or-treating time began, it's all being swept under the rug. The season culminated and the world is no longer a place I recog

Here’s Where The Story Ends//October 337th, 2020

Everyone has moments in their life when they feel like giving up. That feeling of “This is never going to happen, so why keep trying?” Sometimes it relates to a thing that would be trivial to anyone else, sometimes it’s about something more life-altering. But, we’ve all been there. I have moments of discouragement with this blog. Times I’ve told myself, “No one cares”, or “No one will read this”, etc., but I continue on, for the joy of it. And sometimes, something amazing happens. If you haven’t read my previous post, Have You Seen This Pumpkin? , I would strongly suggest doing so before continuing on with this story. The short version is, I saw a pumpkin in someone’s window when I was twelve years old, and have spent the last twenty-one years trying to find it for myself. When I published that post, I wasn’t expecting much of a response. I was really just hoping to hear someone say, “Yes, my family had this pumpkin when I was a kid!” Or “I once saw this in a neighbor’s window while

Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night//October 277th, 2024

I was recently given the opportunity to check out a new, independent Halloween short film called Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night. (Picture from IMDb) I first became aware of this film through the Instagram page , and to say I absolutely knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d love it, would be an understatement. I can always tell when a piece of media is truly going to radiate Halloween, in the way that will transport me through whatever month we’re currently in (in this case, probably the most disgusting July on record) and into Halloween night itself. When I was offered early access to this short film, I could not have been more honored. Even though I’ve built up somewhat of a following within the Halloween community, it still amazes me every day that people finally truly see and feel what I’m trying to create; that my love of Halloween finally means something and brings some joy and comfort to others like myself, and that anyone, especially a filmmaker, would trust me to understand

Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

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