'Tis the season, no matter what summer people will try to tell you, for "Code Orange"s. If you're not familiar with the term, this is how people within the Halloween community alert one another to stores stocking new spooky goods.
Obviously, aside from the fact that I loathe summer, this is probably my second-favorite time of year, only second to the actual fall months.
I love to see new things appear on store shelves and online, and to see the new creations artists come up with during this time.
But, there is one particular Code Orange that I always get a kick out of for entirely different reasons:
Oriental Trading's 'Religious Halloween' section.
Now, I'm not trying to be disrespectful to anyone of the Christian faith, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't find these items very bizarre, and I truly enjoy laughing at them every year. It's hard to explain, maybe it's because of the kind of people I know in the area I grew up in, but I feel like most people who are hardcore Christian enough to purchase these types of items, would also somehow be too hardcore Christian to celebrate Halloween at all. To see the two things hand in hand like this just amuses me to end. And I must say, I hope whoever was given the task of coming up with these puns and marrying Halloween to the anti-Halloween, was paid well.
Let's take a look at some gems.
Christians are, apparently, like pumpkins. Well, this is a scary sentiment. Does this mean that it's tradition to carve Christians on Halloween night? Oh boy, I'm so excited to go to the Christian patch and pick some Christians this October! What about all those poor Christians that get smashed on the night before Halloween?! Have I been collecting Christians this whole time? Should I change my name to Katie Christianhead?! What is being implied here?!
Ah, we have an explanation, albeit a very strange one. Halloween has absolutely nothing to do with Christianity and Jesus. Carving a pumpkin is not meant to be some representation of shining God's light. As a Halloween person I find this kind of offensive, and I kind of feel like certain types of Christians would be more offended by this...? So many seem to think Halloween is evil, yet now some seem to be saying Halloween is about Christianity? Doesn't really make sense.
Here we see the sentiment being justified in the form of neon stickers with Bible verses about light. These are obviously reaching and have nothing whatsoever to do with Halloween. It's all just very strange to see. I understand celebrating the "lighter side" of Halloween that's not all scary and dark and horror-fied, but this just looks so silly to me!
Speaking of silly, does anyone else look at these lawn decorations and imagine them existing in a neighborhood that goes all out for Halloween otherwise and start cracking up? Because I totally do. There was actually a house on my old trick-or-treating route that had a huge religious poster on the front door and handed out either little religious pamphlets or candy bars with Bible verses attached to them every year. This house was either skipped over or littered on, depending on whether the kids could remember which house it was from year to year.
I feel like this is undoubtedly some Karen's Facebook cover photo during October. But only from about October 15th through the 31st, and when her kids get home from trick or treating around approximately 8PM on the 31st, she instantly changes it to something Christmas-y.
Oh man, if these were available to purchase separately, I would not hesitate to buy the candy corn one and allow people to believe that Candy Corn is my God. And the mummy one is obviously a nod to the great toilet paper shortage of 2020, where simply having a roll felt like a gift from God.
This is one heck of a pun. "Falloween Jesus"? "Falloween" has always been such a weird term to me anyway, though.
I don't care for "Hocus Pocus blah blah blah Focus" merchandise on a good day, but this shirt is basically saying "I don't celebrate Halloween but for some reason want to look like I do."
"____ is my Boo" is another Halloween trend I don't particularly care for, but I have to say, I would get a kick out of seeing this on a nun.
It's nice to know I'm not the only person who has favorite ghosts, but come on. I also don't think most Christians believe in ghosts, so this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. This is another one that just makes it look like you're for some reason trying to give the illusion that you celebrate Halloween when you actually do not.
This is just such a crazy array of things. The "Fab Boo Lous" one seems really forced and the others...well, they're kind of dark. I didn't see the word "over" at first on the cat one and thought "FAITH FEAR" sounded kind of metal to be honest. The "Love Your Neighbor" one is giving serious AHS Murder House vibes, but props for encouraging friendships with the dearly departed whose home you may have invaded with your presence. And the skeletons? "These bones will rise again"?! This reminds me of why religion scared the shit out of me as a child. Of all the crazy things on this website, that one honestly kind of nailed it.
I'll end this barrage of pictures with perhaps my favorite Christian Halloween pun of all, "Little Boo-lievers". I happened upon this maybe two or three years ago and it still makes me laugh every time I see it.
It probably comes as no surprise that the Trunk Or Treat supplies are also located on this section of the website. One day I'll go on my rant about how Trunk or Treats are destroying the spirit of Halloween, but today is not that day.
Again, this post is not meant to offend anyone out there who may be Christian and love Halloween. I just am used to Christians having a certain standpoint on these types of things, largely due to my upbringing. I feel like if you're the kind of hardcore Christian that would buy stuff like this, you're probably the kind of hardcore Christian that wouldn't celebrate Halloween at all because it's the devil's birthday or something. But, I must say, I suppose this is a better alternative than just skipping the holiday altogether. And honestly, I would love to chat with a person who came to love Halloween in this bizarre way. Maybe I should write a story about someone like that. It would certainly be interesting to try to capture...I suppose it's not so different from my own scaredy cat childhood, I just didn't have a literal "heavenly host" of puns to go along with it!
If anyone reading this happens to have been a kid who was introduced to Halloween this way, please let me know. I would love to know how something like this really works!
Stay spooky, my friends. And whatever lights your pumpkin, let it shine.
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