This year, the closer October has gotten, I have seen many memes going around similar to this one:
I have a strange sense of humor at times and honestly, I have no idea if these are meant to be insulting to people like me or not, but, like many others in the spooky community, I choose to laugh at them. It can feel a bit cliche at times, being the “spooky friend”. When I was younger, I chose to hide my interests from the world. I was super shy and lived in constant fear of being judged, so I dressed to blend in, and named generic, popular things as my favorites (movies, music, etc.) when asked. It was a miserable, hollow existence and I’m very, very glad that I grew out of it. I find I actually get more compliments now than my younger self ever would have expected to. People can be mean, as they can with anything, but at the end of the day, nothing beats knowing who you are and what makes you happy, and feeling comfortable enough with yourself to express that.
With that said, though, I have come to truly realize that these memes are true. My entire personality really is Halloween!
I know there are people out there who will try very hard to fit into a particular “box” of sorts, be it a fandom, a style, etc., but Halloween was always an effortless thing with me. I never could explain why I loved it the way I did, I just knew that it was part of me, and I connected with it more than I even did with my own birthday. It took me many years, though, to realize just how essential it was to me, and how it influenced almost everything else in my life as well. I didn’t realize it in my teens, but feigning interest in what was popular and “acceptable” was truly damaging to me. Everything that didn’t connect back to Halloween in some way felt fraudulent, even unconsciously. I truly felt as though I didn’t know who I was, and might never know.
But now, when I look around at all of the Halloween goodness I have surrounded myself with, I can honestly say, I know exactly who I am.
And, as I said in the beginning, I don’t know if the memes surrounding that kind of thought process are meant to be a joke, an insult, just lighthearted fun, or what, but I can honestly sit here and say, with no shame, that for me, they are the truth. Every inch of my life is colored by Halloween. What I watch, read, listen to, etc., the sights I want to see if I go on a vacation...it’s all influenced one hundred percent by the things that Halloween has given to me, and if I can’t find some way to relate what I’m doing to something spooky, I tune out.
You could say Halloween is my hobby, but it’s more than that. The closest anyone has ever come to describing what Halloween is to me, was when I was told I treat it as a religion. Some people I know have an Instagram page devoted to Halloween, while another page is their “personal” account, who they are in “real” life. But for me, there truly is no separation. That passion is always there, calendar be damned. It doesn’t matter if it’s October twentieth or January twelfth, I’m always thinking in terms of Halloween. What kind of photo can I create? What memories can I share? How can I manipulate any current situation I’m in to be a little more “spooky”? I have had people tell me they’d like to know more about me, even been asked on a few occasions if I have a “personal” Instagram account, but the truth is, this is me. Halloween is 100% who I am, and I don’t regret, or feel the need to apologize for, that at all. I don’t feel like any less of a person for having an entire personality and life based on one specific thing. If anything, I feel more fulfilled than most people. I truly don’t understand how people function without something like that to center and ground them, and without a holiday to look forward to and focus on even during the worst of times.
People today seem to think that obsessing over autumn or Halloween is some kind of “basic”, but I truly believe that I’m one of a very lucky few. Halloween may be my entire personality, but I wouldn’t trade it for any other personality in the world.
Stay spooky my friends. And if spooky is all you are, know that it’s enough.
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