In A Hallowed Hurry//October 153rd, 2025

It's true that time is precious.

I don't delight in getting older. I'm averse to the changes that come with the seasons, not just the weather, but life, in general. I've never been good with change, in any capacity.

I'll be 38 this year. I don't know that I ever thought I'd make it this far. Adulthood isn't something I ever wished for as a child. I remember telling my mother that I would purposely flunk school, so I'd never have to grow up.

I didn't, obviously. Flunk school, I mean. But I don't know that I really 'grew up' either.

Adulthood was never something I identified with, and it still isn't.

I don't feel human most days, never mind adult human.

Maybe my greatest wish would be to stop time.

And yet...every year I only long to move forward. To the only time of year that makes sense to me.

Perhaps it is the depersonalization I feel through winter, through spring, and through summer, that keeps me longing for autumn.

In autumn I feel real. Like I can do anything. Like I can be anything. Most importantly, like I can be myself.

It's never been a simple thing to explain. I can tell you that my favorite holiday is Halloween, but truthfully? You probably don't understand the extent to which I mean that. I've been told I have a way with words, many times throughout the course of my life, but I don't know if I truly have the language to express all that Halloween is to me.

It's intrinsic.

It's not just a season. It's not just a favorite holiday. It's something that I need, like breathing. It's the blood in my veins, the beating of my heart, the air that I breathe. The closest anyone has ever come to describing it accurately was to say that I treat it like a religion.

I've never been especially religious, in the traditional sense, but it seemed like a worthy comparison.

Still, though, whatever I say never seems to be enough.

I don't know how to make people get it.

I'm always being told not to wish time away. Years when I've had to fight for my vacation time, I can see the strange looks in my bosses' or colleagues' eyes, as they wonder why I can't just make a 'simple' change to my plans. I have been told that a love for Halloween in adulthood implies 'arrested development', though that was just someone who got annoyed when I said something they didn't like about football. I've even had it implied that loving Halloween is simply my 'online persona', and that, my friends, was unforgivable.

I don't think anyone, even some of the people closest to me in the world, understand how vital Halloween is to me. Not just for my happiness...but for my survival.

If I didn't have Halloween to look ahead to, I don't think I could make it through the rest of the year. I 'rush the seasons' and 'wish time away', because I am nothing without Halloween.

Perhaps I am not 'rushing the seasons' at all, but simply trying to survive. Each day I fight a battle with anxiety, depression, depersonalization...pushing and pushing through until I get to feel like me again, for a short time.

Maybe it's not something anyone else can understand. Maybe it just is.

But I won't apologize for it.

Do what you want with the time in between, but as for me, I will be out searching, and ticking days off of calendar boxes, until I am home again.

Until I am me again.

Until I am again.

I'm Not So Sure About This Social Media Thing//October 94th, 2026

I started this blog six years ago on New Year's Day. I had been through some major life changes in 2018/2019, and really found myself along the way. I felt as though I really had cemented a place for myself within the Halloween community on social media, and often, when I would caption my posts on Instagram with snippets of memories, or a specific feeling that maybe not many others could understand, I would get comments and messages from new friends and followers, complimenting the way I wrote, sometimes even asking for more, and so, the idea to start a blog again was born, and, silly as it may sound, I am very proud that I've managed to stick with it as long as I have. Long work hours, personal problems, bouts of anxiety and depression....none of that has ever fully stopped me from coming back and doing what I love. But, lately, I have been feeling a little off about social media in general, and that's something I really would like to talk about, as I feel it taking a to...

Tales From A Walk: April 5th, 2026; AKA Easterween/Creepster/Zombie Jesus Day, Etc.

Someone asked me once When do you stop mourning the previous Halloween and start looking forward to the next one? That's always been a hard question for me to answer, as I am always looking back or looking ahead, depending on the situation. I often see what was, and what will be again, simultaneously. But today, I went for a walk. Probably my first full walk since Christmas time. That last walk, the remnants were still there. Though it was a different holiday entirely, I still met some rotting pumpkins, and some dead leaves clinging to their brittle branches. Then two back to back winter storms came in February, burying us in two feet of snow both times. I don't know that I've ever felt more like I was in alternate reality, or farther away from Halloween. Today was different, though. When Easter comes, you hear all this talk of spring, and new beginnings, and that sort of thing. And I guess it never really hit me how that can apply to Halloween as well. Wal...

Here’s Where The Story Ends//October 337th, 2020

Everyone has moments in their life when they feel like giving up. That feeling of “This is never going to happen, so why keep trying?” Sometimes it relates to a thing that would be trivial to anyone else, sometimes it’s about something more life-altering. But, we’ve all been there. I have moments of discouragement with this blog. Times I’ve told myself, “No one cares”, or “No one will read this”, etc., but I continue on, for the joy of it. And sometimes, something amazing happens. If you haven’t read my previous post, Have You Seen This Pumpkin? , I would strongly suggest doing so before continuing on with this story. The short version is, I saw a pumpkin in someone’s window when I was twelve years old, and have spent the last twenty-one years trying to find it for myself. When I published that post, I wasn’t expecting much of a response. I was really just hoping to hear someone say, “Yes, my family had this pumpkin when I was a kid!” Or “I once saw this in a neighbor’...

Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

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