Thoughts From The In-Between//October 91st, 2024

Sometimes I truly feel like this is the hardest point on the road back to Halloween.

I spend November mourning, and soaking up what is left of autumn. The remnants of Halloween still linger, though not as much as I wish that they would.

December brings the inevitable start of Christmas, despite that fact that many have been locked in since the second the clock struck midnight on November 1st. It becomes my battle, in a way, to keep Halloween alive when everyone is so distracted. To be a voice for those of us who, maybe, don't find Christmas time quite as merry. I am a safe space, not only for myself, but to the others that need Halloween as much as I do.

It's hard not to get distracted. As December descends into its final week before the supposed "big day", I get lost in nostalgia. I don't, necessarily, want to fall down the Christmas rabbit hole, the way Jack Skellington did, but I think about it. And the thought, the memory, becomes all-consuming for a few days, and then it comes. And it goes.

And then, nothing.

The world goes almost silent, it seems, when Christmas is over. For me, it feels like this huge hurdle to get over. And then it passes, and I realize, it's not actually the end of anything. Though thoughts now move away from Christmas, maybe back toward Halloween for those that took a little break from it, we're not as close as we feel like we should be.

Everything has come to a standstill.

I look around, at the end of December, and it's an almost hopeless feeling. Autumn has been over for about a week now, or earlier than that, if you believe the people who think Christmas starts on November 1st, but somehow, now, there's a finality to it.

Christmas has passed, but it's just one hurdle. Suddenly the road stretches out in front of me. All of winter left to go, and it's only just gotten started. All of spring. All of summer. Summer...the very thought makes me cringe, even though it's a strangely hopeful time, when things feel so close and yet so far.

I walk past the lake, and see one of the cornstalks that delighted me in October still standing. Against a winter fog, it is a very strange dreamscape, almost as if I'm seeing the ghost of a loved one wave at me from just beyond my reach.

Everything was so alive, just a short time ago. Yet now it feels like years have passed, and will have to pass again, before it comes back around.

I walk past still-decorated houses, and somehow the enthusiasm for Christmas seems less than Halloween. One house has Jack Skellington and the Abominable Snowman out front; some of the spookiest characters I can think of relating to Christmas. Is this their way of holding on? Of giving in, without giving in?

Is wanting to live in a world of eternal Halloween really that strange? Or rare?

I smile at the pumpkins, still alive, though maybe starting to rot, among lights and snow piles. My war buddies, they seem like. How have we made it this far?

I envy them, almost. They will sink into the earth before too long, leaving seeds to raise new pumpkins before next autumn. But I must remain, the eternal pumpkin not quite cut out for this world, and try to fit in.

Soon, at least, a new year will begin. No more "next Halloween", but "this Halloween". We'll finally be out of the 300s on the countdown...yet somehow it feels further than ever.

Winter is better than summer. But sometimes I long for the latter, not for what it feels like, but for the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't find darkness depressing. Quite the opposite, actually.

But I will always search for the beacon that leads me back to Halloween.

Stay spooky, my friends.

Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night//October 277th, 2024

I was recently given the opportunity to check out a new, independent Halloween short film called Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night. (Picture from IMDb) I first became aware of this film through the Instagram page , and to say I absolutely knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d love it, would be an understatement. I can always tell when a piece of media is truly going to radiate Halloween, in the way that will transport me through whatever month we’re currently in (in this case, probably the most disgusting July on record) and into Halloween night itself. When I was offered early access to this short film, I could not have been more honored. Even though I’ve built up somewhat of a following within the Halloween community, it still amazes me every day that people finally truly see and feel what I’m trying to create; that my love of Halloween finally means something and brings some joy and comfort to others like myself, and that anyone, especially a filmmaker, would trust me ...

Here’s Where The Story Ends//October 337th, 2020

Everyone has moments in their life when they feel like giving up. That feeling of “This is never going to happen, so why keep trying?” Sometimes it relates to a thing that would be trivial to anyone else, sometimes it’s about something more life-altering. But, we’ve all been there. I have moments of discouragement with this blog. Times I’ve told myself, “No one cares”, or “No one will read this”, etc., but I continue on, for the joy of it. And sometimes, something amazing happens. If you haven’t read my previous post, Have You Seen This Pumpkin? , I would strongly suggest doing so before continuing on with this story. The short version is, I saw a pumpkin in someone’s window when I was twelve years old, and have spent the last twenty-one years trying to find it for myself. When I published that post, I wasn’t expecting much of a response. I was really just hoping to hear someone say, “Yes, my family had this pumpkin when I was a kid!” Or “I once saw this in a neighbor’...

How The Halloween Community Saved My Life//October 226th, 2024

In 2018, I thought I was dying. It wasn't a health scare, at least not a physical one. I was losing myself. 2018 was a truly transitional time for me. At the time, I was living with my parents, along with my boyfriend at the time, who I'd been with for over a decade. They say you never know what the next day is going to bring, and April 2018 was proof of that. Around the middle of the month, I made the decision to end my relationship, for several reasons, one being complicated feelings I had for someone else. I was in the process of figuring all of that out, when, not more than a week later, my father abruptly decided it was time to retire, put the house up for sale, and move to Florida. I don't do well with change on a good day. But dealing with all of this at once was rough. I was facing a breakup, a possible new relationship, and suddenly potential homelessness, all at once. (If you know me at all, you'll understand that moving to Florida was never a con...

Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

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