Almost Home//October 272nd, 2024

Much of this year has felt eternal to me. I'm not entirely sure why. But on some level, it's felt like Halloween was never going to come around again.

I have theories as to why things have felt so long and hopeless, most of them having to do with my own schedule, and seasonal depression now on top of it. Whatever the feeling was, it was scary for me. Like being a trapped animal.

But, yesterday afternoon, I went for a walk. That is a rarity for me these days as the heat intolerance connected to my summer SAD seems to be getting worse by the day, but after a rainstorm and some Halloween shopping, I was feeling pretty decent.

And, possibly for the first time since 2024 began, I could feel it again. The final leg of our journey to Halloween.

I looked around at the yards I was passing, and could almost see the Halloween decorations, where they will be standing once again. My old friends who visit me once a year. I miss them; their comfort. But, for the first time since last season, I can feel them now, as if they're looking out of windows, waiting for their time. Soon I will be passing them by again, as I walk more frequently through a world I actually recognize and feel a part of. I will take pictures of them and look back with fondness and nostalgia once November comes back around.

I've often said that I feel like a boarding school student, only coming home for a small chunk of time, when the world is a place I feel like I belong in once more. We are truly almost home, and I couldn't be more grateful.

Comments

The Long Way Back//October 32nd, 2023

Every year I talk about November 1st...it's such a confusing day. It makes me feel so many emotions all at once. Mournful, depressed, angry...It's like a slap in the face shoving us into a new month, forcing us to forget what came just hours before. Last year, I did have somewhat of an epiphany regarding the month of November as a whole, and while I do my best to keep my own past words in mind, that doesn't make today any easier. Or easy to explain, for that matter. I suppose I should speak from my heart. Today I feel detached from reality, as if I don't really exist. Like there is no longer a place in the world for me. Just yesterday everything I loved made sense, and was loved and revered by everyone else as well. I felt like I fit. But now, today, I see those same things being quickly shoved away. Less than twenty-four hours after trick-or-treating time began, it's all being swept under the rug. The season culminated and the world is no longer a place I recog

Here’s Where The Story Ends//October 337th, 2020

Everyone has moments in their life when they feel like giving up. That feeling of “This is never going to happen, so why keep trying?” Sometimes it relates to a thing that would be trivial to anyone else, sometimes it’s about something more life-altering. But, we’ve all been there. I have moments of discouragement with this blog. Times I’ve told myself, “No one cares”, or “No one will read this”, etc., but I continue on, for the joy of it. And sometimes, something amazing happens. If you haven’t read my previous post, Have You Seen This Pumpkin? , I would strongly suggest doing so before continuing on with this story. The short version is, I saw a pumpkin in someone’s window when I was twelve years old, and have spent the last twenty-one years trying to find it for myself. When I published that post, I wasn’t expecting much of a response. I was really just hoping to hear someone say, “Yes, my family had this pumpkin when I was a kid!” Or “I once saw this in a neighbor’s window while

Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night//October 277th, 2024

I was recently given the opportunity to check out a new, independent Halloween short film called Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night. (Picture from IMDb) I first became aware of this film through the Instagram page , and to say I absolutely knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d love it, would be an understatement. I can always tell when a piece of media is truly going to radiate Halloween, in the way that will transport me through whatever month we’re currently in (in this case, probably the most disgusting July on record) and into Halloween night itself. When I was offered early access to this short film, I could not have been more honored. Even though I’ve built up somewhat of a following within the Halloween community, it still amazes me every day that people finally truly see and feel what I’m trying to create; that my love of Halloween finally means something and brings some joy and comfort to others like myself, and that anyone, especially a filmmaker, would trust me to understand

Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

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