If you know me at all, you probably know:
It’s never too early for Halloween is the hill I will die on.
January 3rd, April 22nd, August 12th, November 1st itself…It doesn’t matter. To me, spooky is not a season.
But a strange trend I’m starting to notice this year is, even within the Halloween community itself, even among the most avid lovers of Halloween, I’m seeing posts that basically state, in so many words, “I love Halloween, but it’s too early.”
Huh?
Now, I understand that for some people, it may not feel as special when treated as a year-round thing, and that is a perfectly valid way to feel. In fact, one reason it took me until my mid-twenties to start leaving my Halloween decor up all year round was because I was afraid Halloween would lose something if I tried to quell that longing by surrounding myself with it for too long before or too late after. I’m in no way trying to shade or gatekeep against those that love Halloween but find more magic in keeping it seasonal. There’s no right or wrong way to enjoy something.
However, I, personally, found that I was the one losing something by not surrounding myself with Halloween despite the calendar date. I was losing my very self with every second that I spent forcing myself to view Halloween as this unattainable thing behind a pane of glass for ten months out of the year. I spent so much time visualizing the spring-green blooms in shades of orange and red. I'd see hidden vampires in folded patio umbrellas, pumpkins in forgotten basketballs left in children's front yards. It was always everywhere, and what good did it do me to pretend I didn't see it? To pretend I was only allowed to see it for a few short weeks? I've always had a fear of blindness, and living this way, I was blinding myself.
Yes, I remember what it felt like to wait a little longer for Halloween each year. I remember the slow transition from back to school in stores, that usually started around my birthday. I remember not setting foot in a costume shop until the first weekend of October. I remember the thrill of opening bins of decorations that I hadn't seen in a year; talking to each one as if it was a friend who'd been away at a boarding school, finally home for a break. But what I remember more is the anguish of that wait. The tears when something would remind me of October, and in turn remind me of how far away we were from the time that makes me feel like my truest self. And the full-on breakdowns that would come with taking down the decorations...it felt like my identity being stripped away from me, not to be seen again for another year. I spent about ten months out of the year being a shell of myself, and for what? Why limit yourself when you can just simply be? The true "season", if you choose to see it that way, is so short. As I once wrote as a teenager, part of a poem I can't fully remember:
October days
Slip away
Like a grain of sand
In my hand.
Feels like minutes
Though I'm caught up in it.
So to all the people who may love Halloween but think we're jumping the gun, or haven't earned the right to celebrate just yet because we haven't longed hard enough...please consider the fact that maybe, some of us have. For some of us, that glimmer of spookiness, no matter the calendar the date, is what keeps us alive. Perhaps some of us wouldn't be ourselves without it. Maybe wouldn't survive at all.
I, of course, can't speak for everyone in the community, but I know who I am and what I feel. Celebrating Halloween year-round is not something I do to be trendy or gain clout or followers or anything else. I celebrate Halloween year-round because it is who I am. I've met the person I would be without it, and she is not who I wish to be ever again. I know I do not have the right to tell anyone else how to celebrate, but nor does anyone else. You don't get to tell me when I've "earned" Halloween; when I've longed enough for it.
Because I've been longing my whole life to be exactly where I am now. And whoever wants to join me in this perpetual Halloween world, is always more than welcome. The flame burns eternally here.
Stay spooky, my friends.
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