When The Call Comes From Inside The House//October 317th, 2023

If you know me at all, you probably know:

It’s never too early for Halloween is the hill I will die on.

January 3rd, April 22nd, August 12th, November 1st itself…It doesn’t matter. To me, spooky is not a season.

But a strange trend I’m starting to notice this year is, even within the Halloween community itself, even among the most avid lovers of Halloween, I’m seeing posts that basically state, in so many words, “I love Halloween, but it’s too early.”

Huh?

Now, I understand that for some people, it may not feel as special when treated as a year-round thing, and that is a perfectly valid way to feel. In fact, one reason it took me until my mid-twenties to start leaving my Halloween decor up all year round was because I was afraid Halloween would lose something if I tried to quell that longing by surrounding myself with it for too long before or too late after. I’m in no way trying to shade or gatekeep against those that love Halloween but find more magic in keeping it seasonal. There’s no right or wrong way to enjoy something.

However, I, personally, found that I was the one losing something by not surrounding myself with Halloween despite the calendar date. I was losing my very self with every second that I spent forcing myself to view Halloween as this unattainable thing behind a pane of glass for ten months out of the year. I spent so much time visualizing the spring-green blooms in shades of orange and red. I'd see hidden vampires in folded patio umbrellas, pumpkins in forgotten basketballs left in children's front yards. It was always everywhere, and what good did it do me to pretend I didn't see it? To pretend I was only allowed to see it for a few short weeks? I've always had a fear of blindness, and living this way, I was blinding myself.

Yes, I remember what it felt like to wait a little longer for Halloween each year. I remember the slow transition from back to school in stores, that usually started around my birthday. I remember not setting foot in a costume shop until the first weekend of October. I remember the thrill of opening bins of decorations that I hadn't seen in a year; talking to each one as if it was a friend who'd been away at a boarding school, finally home for a break. But what I remember more is the anguish of that wait. The tears when something would remind me of October, and in turn remind me of how far away we were from the time that makes me feel like my truest self. And the full-on breakdowns that would come with taking down the decorations...it felt like my identity being stripped away from me, not to be seen again for another year. I spent about ten months out of the year being a shell of myself, and for what? Why limit yourself when you can just simply be? The true "season", if you choose to see it that way, is so short. As I once wrote as a teenager, part of a poem I can't fully remember:

October days

Slip away

Like a grain of sand

In my hand.

Feels like minutes

Though I'm caught up in it.

So to all the people who may love Halloween but think we're jumping the gun, or haven't earned the right to celebrate just yet because we haven't longed hard enough...please consider the fact that maybe, some of us have. For some of us, that glimmer of spookiness, no matter the calendar the date, is what keeps us alive. Perhaps some of us wouldn't be ourselves without it. Maybe wouldn't survive at all.

I, of course, can't speak for everyone in the community, but I know who I am and what I feel. Celebrating Halloween year-round is not something I do to be trendy or gain clout or followers or anything else. I celebrate Halloween year-round because it is who I am. I've met the person I would be without it, and she is not who I wish to be ever again. I know I do not have the right to tell anyone else how to celebrate, but nor does anyone else. You don't get to tell me when I've "earned" Halloween; when I've longed enough for it.

Because I've been longing my whole life to be exactly where I am now. And whoever wants to join me in this perpetual Halloween world, is always more than welcome. The flame burns eternally here.

Stay spooky, my friends.

Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night//October 277th, 2024

I was recently given the opportunity to check out a new, independent Halloween short film called Pumpkin Guts: Devil’s Night. (Picture from IMDb) I first became aware of this film through the Instagram page , and to say I absolutely knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d love it, would be an understatement. I can always tell when a piece of media is truly going to radiate Halloween, in the way that will transport me through whatever month we’re currently in (in this case, probably the most disgusting July on record) and into Halloween night itself. When I was offered early access to this short film, I could not have been more honored. Even though I’ve built up somewhat of a following within the Halloween community, it still amazes me every day that people finally truly see and feel what I’m trying to create; that my love of Halloween finally means something and brings some joy and comfort to others like myself, and that anyone, especially a filmmaker, would trust me ...

Here’s Where The Story Ends//October 337th, 2020

Everyone has moments in their life when they feel like giving up. That feeling of “This is never going to happen, so why keep trying?” Sometimes it relates to a thing that would be trivial to anyone else, sometimes it’s about something more life-altering. But, we’ve all been there. I have moments of discouragement with this blog. Times I’ve told myself, “No one cares”, or “No one will read this”, etc., but I continue on, for the joy of it. And sometimes, something amazing happens. If you haven’t read my previous post, Have You Seen This Pumpkin? , I would strongly suggest doing so before continuing on with this story. The short version is, I saw a pumpkin in someone’s window when I was twelve years old, and have spent the last twenty-one years trying to find it for myself. When I published that post, I wasn’t expecting much of a response. I was really just hoping to hear someone say, “Yes, my family had this pumpkin when I was a kid!” Or “I once saw this in a neighbor’...

How The Halloween Community Saved My Life//October 226th, 2024

In 2018, I thought I was dying. It wasn't a health scare, at least not a physical one. I was losing myself. 2018 was a truly transitional time for me. At the time, I was living with my parents, along with my boyfriend at the time, who I'd been with for over a decade. They say you never know what the next day is going to bring, and April 2018 was proof of that. Around the middle of the month, I made the decision to end my relationship, for several reasons, one being complicated feelings I had for someone else. I was in the process of figuring all of that out, when, not more than a week later, my father abruptly decided it was time to retire, put the house up for sale, and move to Florida. I don't do well with change on a good day. But dealing with all of this at once was rough. I was facing a breakup, a possible new relationship, and suddenly potential homelessness, all at once. (If you know me at all, you'll understand that moving to Florida was never a con...

Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

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