I'm really not the type to "gatekeep". I don't think there should be any sort of justification needed for enjoying something, no matter how your enjoyment of it measures up, or doesn't, to that of other people. There's nothing wrong with being a lifelong fan or a brand new one, discovering something because your parents loved it or because it suddenly became popular. I actually, personally, have a strange relationship, or rather non-relationship, with music because of judgement and gatekeeping. It's crappy.
But yet, I can't help but feel a strange, and, I can't lie, pretty negative curiosity toward the people I like to refer to as "once a yearers".
This is my term for the people that only celebrate Halloween once a year.
For the record, I don't actually think there's anything inherently wrong with enjoying seasons, you know, seasonally. As many of you know if you've been reading my blog for awhile, I have a weird love for Valentine's Day, but wouldn't want smiling hearts and silhouettes of Cupid as year-round decor. (Though I do actually have a Michael Myers as Cupid die cut up year round that I adore, but I digress.) Even when I enjoyed Christmas a lot more, it always felt strange seeing Christmas stuff any time that wasn't between mid-November and New Year's. You can appreciate a season without wanting to make it the basis of your entire existence, as Halloween is to me.
And yet, I can't help but wonder how these people live!
I recently visited a street fair in my heart's home of Sleepy Hollow, New York. The whole town was super busy, and there were so many people doing photo ops, carrying props around the cemetery, dressed spooky...and while it didn't necessarily bother me, it definitely made me think.
These people, for the most part, all looked and acted a lot like me. All dressed up in spooky attire, some in full costume, and carrying props to photograph around the cemetery or in front of dear old "Lawrence Pumpkinhead", as I call the pumpkin scarecrow that returns to the town clock every year. They looked like they were having fun, and honestly? It felt so nice to blend in for once. To not be the weird girl who's always too early or too late for Halloween. To just be part of the fun.
But it made me a little sad, too. Not because I don't want other people to enjoy Halloween, even if they don't feel it the way that I do, but because I know another few short weeks, these people will all return to their normal human forms, and I will still be a displaced pumpkin. It felt so freeing to able to take out my props in the cemetery, while wearing a spooky outfit, and take some pictures, and just be one of many people all smiling at each other, acknowledging what a wonderful, spooky time it is. But once the calendar says that wonderful, spooky time is over, I go back to being the odd one out. The person who has to hear comments like "It's not Halloween yet!" in regards to my outfits. The person who gets looked at strangely for snapping a picture of a pumpkin in a cemetery. The person who is just too strange, too much.
It's not easy being a socially anxious person with interests that make me really stand out, let me tell you.
The thing is, I don't begrudge people for enjoying "spooky season", as they call it. Again, there's nothing wrong with enjoying things seasonally. People have their reasons for not wanting live in a Halloween world year round (even if I personally can't fathom those reasons) and they are all valid. But, clearly, Halloween is a source of fun and amusement for these people. Does it really not occur to them that maybe, for some of us, we just simply don't want to turn that off because we turned a page on a calendar?
Everyone I saw during that street fair looked happy. No one looked like they were forcing themselves to have a good time just because the calendar says we should be doing spooky stuff at this time. Clearly they feel something. They feel the joy that Halloween brings, even if it's simply a season for them. Do they think maybe it wouldn't be as special if they indulged in it year round? Possibly. But why does it not occur to them that maybe, for some of us, it is that special, no matter what the calendar tells us?
No, you don't have to build your life around something, anything, in order to find it enjoyable, but if you do find it enjoyable, is it really fair to criticize someone who wants to hold onto that feeling? We are all just people trying to enjoy being alive, after all. And maybe some of us feel most alive during a certain time of year. If you can put that happiness on a shelf and move on to the next thing as the seasons change, I suppose that's fine. But the fact that that happiness is there at all, in the first place, means, on some level, you must get it. You understand the joy that Halloween and "spooky season" bring.
Why, then, is it so hard to accept that some people simply want to feel that all year round? Why give strange looks to the person in front of you at the home decor store, the one who has armfuls of Halloween decor in July? Why act like the person photographing an artificial pumpkin at the halfway point to Halloween in May is the biggest weirdo you've ever come across?
You have been me. You just chose moderation while I chose maximalism. The joy Halloween can bring remains the same, whether it's October or January. It's not our fault, as spooky people, if some others don't see it that way.
But the thing is, I think, ultimately, most people do. I feel like the vast majority of the human race can probably say that there's something that makes them happy and gives them a feeling they wish they could hold onto all the time. If the once a yearers could simply think about this fact, I think the world would feel like a much better place for us spooky people. If something can make you happy for a season, then it certainly can make some people happy all year round.
I have always said that October is the time of year that everyone else is on my level. And it's honestly so much fun to see. I do truly love when everyone is in that mindset. When I'm suddenly getting compliments on my outfit or whatever I might be carrying with me. When I'm just one of the crowd, having fun. It's a confusing feeling though, to see everyone so happy and upbeat, but also know you're expected to just come down from that cloud once the page on the calendar turns. I'll never understand just turning off your interests because society says it isn't "time".
And those who smile at us in October, should not be throwing shade come November first, when we refuse to retreat back into the shadows for another year. We are all just human beings trying to survive, and I, for one, know that I could not survive a moment of my life without Halloween.
Stay spooky, my friends. I don't know who else may need to hear it, but staying spooky is never a bad thing.
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