Post-Halloween depression is something I've dealt with for my most of my life.
Even when I was much younger and didn't have the language to describe how I was feeling, I remember the agonizing feeling of knowing I would have to wait another year upon returning home for the evening on October 31st. There were many Halloween nights where I would cry that it was over, or go to bed wishing the Halloween night I'd just experienced was a dream, so that I could wake up and do it all over again for real. There was the year I tried to extend it with Halloweek, and the year when I was fourteen, when I think I really started to figure out how to express it, and recognize the longing that I felt all year round. I even once started writing a story about a little girl discovering she was actually a witch, after grappling with post-Halloween depression for several years in a row.
This has always been who I am.
But recently I saw something that bothered me a bit, and I just felt a need to talk about it.
Now, I'm going to preface this by saying that I have no idea for certain if what I saw was directed at me, specifically. I'm not trying to accuse anyone of anything or call anyone out. The timing was just interesting, as I saw a post, from someone with a large account within the Halloween community, that seemed to be implying that some people "get weird" about their love for Halloween after it's over. The post popped up on a particular social media platform very shortly after I'd posted something about how badly I was struggling with post-Halloween depression on that particular day, and then I noticed, though again I have no idea if the two things correlated as I don't regularly check who is following me, that this account had actually unfollowed me. So maybe it was about me, maybe it wasn't.
But regardless, no matter who it was meant to be directed at, I can't help but feel like it was honestly a very shitty thing for someone within the community itself, especially someone with a larger account and platform, to say.
I fully understand that there are different levels to loving Halloween. For some, it's a more seasonal thing and the heaviness that comes for me with Halloween's end may not hit other people quite as hard, or even at all. Some people can move on immediately, jump right into Christmas, and honestly? I don't necessarily want to see Christmas the morning after Halloween, but all the power to you if that's what makes you happy. There's no right or wrong way to love Halloween, and there's no right or wrong way to cope with the end of the official season, if you feel the need to cope at all. I'm by no means offended by the idea of someone not experiencing post-Halloween depression, or saying you must not truly love Halloween if you don't.
Honestly?
I know I'm "weird" about it. I am under no false pretense that it's some kind of universal norm to mourn Halloween the way that I do; to genuinely feel like a loved one has passed away every November and beyond.
But this is just who I've always been. Halloween is what makes me happy, what makes me feel most alive and at home in the world, and the end of the season is always hard for me. I want to be surrounded by pumpkins and skeletons and spooky things all year round, not just for some, ultimately, ultra-concentrated period of time until the rest of the world flips a calendar page and moves on with their lives. I want the leaves to always be orange and yellow and red, and dancing in the breeze against a gloomy sky. I can't explain exactly why I feel this way, and maybe that's the beauty of it. I just...know. Halloween is a part of me; the biggest part of me, and though I find ways to live the magic the whole year through, there still is nothing like when it's actually here; when the rest of the world is celebrating and I feel like maybe I fit in after all. I get compliments instead of strange looks when I have ghosts and bats on my leggings and a witch with stylized bloody eyes on my hoodie. Cashiers happily chat with me about the things I'm purchasing, rather than sneering and bleating "Halloween already?!" The world transforms during Halloween season, in so many ways, and, simply put, it fucking sucks when it's over and all of that, from the spooky decorations, to the colors of autumn, and, maybe most of all, the acceptance, goes away for another year. It's a high that's extremely hard to come down from.
And it's taken me many years to be able to fully express how all of this makes me feel. In some ways I'm still learning. But several years ago I found a community of what appeared to be like-minded people, and have been able to express these things, however they manifest to me, more freely, and honestly, that has helped me so much, and has probably saved my life multiple times. (I actually made a post about that here if you feel so inclined to read it.) But the thing is, a community like this is meant to be a safe space. A safe space for all who love a certain thing. We are obviously all going to experience the love of Halloween differently. And we are all going to have different ways of expressing it.
The end of the season is going to hit us all differently. Maybe I find it a little "weird" that some people can move on to Christmas so immediately, but I would never fault someone for that. I just, personally, need to time to mourn Halloween, and I don't think I ever really stop until it starts to come around again. It's the air I breathe and the blood that runs through my veins, and if that's "weird" to some people, then so be it.
I just don't think veiled comments like that have any real place within the community. If you claim to love Halloween, then you should at least have some vague understanding of why someone might feel depressed that it's over. To comment on someone else's feelings about something in that way, something you claim to love as well and have built a fairly large platform on, is really just glorified bullying.
Let the Halloween community be a safe space for all who love Halloween. And let those of us who need to mourn, do so in peace and solidarity.
There's really nothing that should be deemed "weird" about the love of a holiday devoted to all things weird!
Stay spooky, my friends.
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