Katie Pumpkinhead’s Pumpkin Patch

 I recently saw a post, I believe it was in a Facebook horror group, about a movie from 2005 called Tideland. I had never before heard of this movie, but the post intrigued me to the point where I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it for the past month or so. I would occasionally Google trailers, and reviews, and it got to the point where I was so weirdly hyperfixated on it that I knew I would have to experience it for myself, despite not really being able to pin down exactly what sort of movie it was. It seemed like some kind of horrific fairytale fever dream, and something about it just really spoke to me. Thankfully, it is currently available on Tubi, so I was recently able to watch it for free. I’m going to start this off by saying, while I understand that he is influential, I am not familiar with much of Terry Gilliam’s work. I have specific tastes in media, and the only other movie I’ve seen of his, at least as far as I can tell, is The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, ...

I went for a walk tonight. My first in a long time. The last walk I went on, there were still pumpkins out there. Many of them lined up for disposal, some even sitting near garbage cans, awaiting their fate. I wished I could have saved them all.  It's always strange to go on walks when I haven't in awhile. The timing is interesting. Usually, as the last pumpkins left out in the world rot, it becomes too cold to go out again until March arrives.  An interesting cycle; a strange coincidence. In my mind's eye, I can see what once was. And as I walk, I feel like I am in some dream state version of my neighborhood. Like when you dream of your home, but it's not quite your home. An extra hallway, a missing window, a gateway to something that isn't really there, or nothingness where there should be something. It's real, but it isn't. It's familiar, but it's foreign.  I think of the movie Skinamarink, where the children ask, 'Where did it go?' as the...

I live in a state of perpetual hunger. A constant craving for things that, for some, only exist once a year.  It gets difficult, living in that constant state of starvation.  But I've learned to search for scraps, everywhere I go.  When I visit Sleepy Hollow, though, that is when I truly feast. A long four months went by between visits, this time. All the way from my actual celebration of Halloween, from October 29th through the morning of November 1st, until March 6th.  Winter was cold, and brought sickness...It wasn't easy to be away for so long. But, at last, there was a day with a favorable temperature, and so it was time to return to the one true home of my heart, under a gloomy sky, on the most autumnal pre-spring day one could ask for.    It felt like a gift from the universe, almost like a do-over of Halloween. Halloween had been so hot, like an August day. It was fun, sure, one of my best if I'm honest, but the fact that it felt like summer did put...

  It's true that time is precious. I don't delight in getting older. I'm averse to the changes that come with the seasons, not just the weather, but life, in general. I've never been good with change, in any capacity. I'll be 38 this year. I don't know that I ever thought I'd make it this far. Adulthood isn't something I ever wished for as a child. I remember telling my mother that I would purposely flunk school, so I'd never have to grow up. I didn't, obviously. Flunk school, I mean. But I don't know that I really 'grew up' either. Adulthood was never something I identified with, and it still isn't.  I don't feel human most days, never mind adult human.  Maybe my greatest wish would be to stop time. And yet...every year I only long to move forward. To the only time of year that makes sense to me. Perhaps it is the depersonalization I feel through winter, through spring, and through summer, that keeps me longing for autumn.  I...